Meeting our Kids

I will try to recall the happenings on the Thursday we met our children and I will be honest – I just hope to help some of you out there that might have to go through a similar experience and have some expectations that might not be accurate when the day comes.

We Met Vlad at the lobby at 9 am Thrusday morning. There was another couple there also – we became good friends! We went to the MOE office. There was this room where you go and meet him with the translator. The officer just looked at our papers, looked at our faces, and signed some stuff. Then, he handed over the permission for Brian and I to go visit the children. That was it! No pain, very easy.

Then we drove to the first orphanage to visit our girl. I was in the back of the car, not nervous at all, I was kind of surprised at my self, I felt the prayers of family and friends at that very moment. We got to the orphanage and they told us to wait while they made her up. I actually understood what they were saying since the word in Russian sounds like the word in Spanish “Maquillage” which means “make up” in English.

The women that work in this orphanage are very “lively” compared to most Russians we encountered in the whole trip. I felt very at home and comfortable, the orphanage Director has a very relaxed and informal attitude, again, very different that the rest of the people we encountered in our whole time there. I think people in that orphanage actually enjoy their jobs.

Then there she was, pretty and … just a little stranger … We started the right way .. we smiled at each other, Brian took some pictures, we started to warm up to each other and then … everybody left the room and there we were Brain, Y and I.

She looked at me, looked at the empty room and started crying!!! She cried for 15 minutes no stop – Vlad and the Orphanage Doctor came by and she told me that maybe she was just hungry, so she took her to feed her. While she was out, Vlad just felt so bad for me, you could see it in my eyes, I was just confused, I felt rejected, I had all kinds of thoughts!

Vlad sat in front of me and gave 2 good pointers, the first one, helped me to remember that I had options and the other pointer was something I already knew from researching the web, but at that moment I was just confused and I did not remember: If the child cries when she is with you alone, it is horrible, but it is a good sign as to the health of the child! It means she understand that something is happening and she misses her normal surroundings.

Well, she came back from feeding and again when we were left alone she cried for another 15 minutes! At this time I was also crying literally and praying “Lord I can not handle this please help me, what are you trying to tell me?” so then, Vlad and the Doctor came running and asked me if she ever stopped crying to what I answered: No. Now I felt that I was not even good enough to be a mother …

So, they took us to the room where the other children are … and they took her temperature (Just so I felt better I think) as soon as she saw her Social worker, she was just fine!

So, then we started again, this time with all the other children in the room. I looked around me and it just hit me: I would not choose any other child from that room … She is the only one I would pick, she was still an stranger, but a very special one, a little stranger I could see me falling mad in love with!! This were the exact feelings that Brian had also: confusion, frustration, excitement and a sudden discovery that in that room there was no other like our Y.

I got closer to other children and Y became suddenly interested. I sat next to her at the couch but I took one more child to my lap for a while, until she felt comfortable with me.
She hold my finger, played with the toy we brought her and even gave me a little smile and then Vlad came running: “It’s time to go to the other orphanage”

Reflecting back to the experience, I realize that it is the most unnatural way to meet your child. I have no biological children but I think that none of you where looking at how many fingers, the size of the mouth, looking for FAS signs, etc, the moment you just delivered your baby. That’s what I was doing! It is horrible … I still feel kind of guilty for it – I almost think that Y could feel it!

Y had a cold; she is teething and was left alone with a stranger that was just checking her out. What else could I expect but that?

We drove to the next orphanage and it was already time for the naps. We entered D’s room and got to see him in his crib, he had his eyes opened. He is a gorgeous boy! And lays down in bed just like my husband, with his arms back.

The Orphanage doctor took us to her office with the social worker in charge of the case and gave us all the information they had on his mother, his delivery, ect. The people in this orphanage are very different that the previous one. The people here behave more like “Professionals” Just a different approach to the same job.

We went back to the hotel and had some lunch there… yes, the picture in top is me after the experience … really tired!!!
To be continued …